Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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