Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
