sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
