I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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