So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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