we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize