I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
