bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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