OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
