if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
