I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
