At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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