nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
