Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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