he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize