i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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