I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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