Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
