I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That was an excessively violent trivia night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
