I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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