It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
