drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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