we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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