I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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