Pants 0. Shit 1.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
