Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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