who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
