Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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