U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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