So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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