i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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