Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
