He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
