Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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