I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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