We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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