sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
