She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
