I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
