Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
