And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
