Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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