I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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