I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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