Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
