Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
