Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
