Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
