So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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