so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
