Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
