The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize