any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
