you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
