a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
