never play flip cup with pint glasses
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
