Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
