Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
