Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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