we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
