Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
